All fathers matter!

2020 marks the 5th Father’s Day since my dad died in late 2015.  It’s my day to remember a great man who taught me about life and where we came from.  He also taught me how treat women and behave properly at work, at home or the baseball field.

My father was quiet, a super gentleman but he laid down the law very effectively.  He knew what was right and wrong and did not accept excuses for bad behavior.

Yesterday, I read that more statues came down, from President Grant to President Lincoln.   They want President Jefferson, too.  

What’s the formula or the method to their madness?  I can’t really find one but all of the mobs have a common denominator, i.e. young people who could use a little a history lesson and a man in their lives!

In this context, maybe it’s time to remind everyone that fathers matter a lot.  After all, it is our fathers who teach us about our heritage, where we came from and that you don’t destroy public property.

According to a Heritage Foundation report, we need more fathers in the country: 

   

Studies have found that children raised without a father are:

At a higher risk of having behavioral problems.

Four times more likely to live in poverty.

More likely to be incarcerated in their lifetime.

Twice as likely to never graduate high school.

At a seven times higher risk of teen pregnancy.

More vulnerable to abuse and neglect.

More likely to abuse drugs and alcohol.

Twice as likely to be obese.

From education to personal health to career success, children who lack a father find themselves at a disadvantage to their peers raised in a two-parent household.

I can’t prove it with a poll but my guess is that a lot of those young people burning buildings and tearing down statues do not have a father to come home to.   

How do I know that?  Because my dad would beaten me with a baseball bat if I had done something stupid like that.  He would have grabbed me by the neck, read me a Cuban Spanish riot act that only Ricky Ricardo could understand and then driven me to the police station for accountability.

Yes, fathers matter a lot.    Happy Father’s Day to the AT family.

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Fathers matter now more than ever

(My new American Thinker post)

Put me down as a rather lucky person.  I had the good fortune of growing up with a great father.  He led by example, from being totally responsible to treating our mother with the up-most respect.   

On the subject of women, my dad would tell my brother and I that every woman was someone's mom, grandmother or sister.   So  treat them the way that you would want others to treat your mom, sister and grandmother.

He also said that a father's job was to tell his sons what they didn't want to hear.   I didn't like that message when I was another teen rebel but I do appreciate it now more than ever.

As a baby-boomer, I remember that most of my friends had a dad at home.   I'm reminded of this every time that I watch TV comedies from the 1950s and 1960s.   There was always a dad around, from The Beaver's dad to Mr. Robinson in " Lost in space".   

As a father of 3 boys, I learned that a lot of boys are growing up without fathers.  I saw this on Little League fields and school events.  In other words, a lot of my sons' friends did not have a father at  home for one reason or another.

As we celebrate another Father's Day, we need to remember that fathers are more than just biological agents.   They are critical in the life of a young man or woman. 

In fact, my friend Rick Johnson has written extensively about the importance of fathers in a young woman's life:

"Fathers set a huge role model for their daughters regarding the qualities she looks for in men and the standards she maintains.  He is the first man in her life and models how a man should treat a woman, how a man should act, and how a man shows healthy love and affection to a woman.  He also sets the standard for how a daughter feels she deserves to be treated by men.  He even determines how a girl feels about herself.Fathers who are active, loving, positive role models in their daughter’s lives provide them with the opportunity to use those character traits as a measuring tape for future men in their lives.  The way in which a man treats his wife speaks volumes to a girl on how she should expect to be treated and valued by men later in her life.  If her father shows that he values her mother as someone worthy of love and respect, a girl will expect that for herself from her husband.  If he exhibits a model of abuse or disrespect for her mother, a girl may feel that she deserves to be treated that way as a wife as well.And if her father shows his daughter love, respect, and appreciation for who she is, she will believe that about herself as a woman, no matter what anyone else thinks.A little girl who has her father’s love knows what it’s like to be unconditionally and completely adored by a man.  She knows the feeling of safety that love creates.1Conversely, men who abandon or abuse their daughters set them up for a lifetime of pain, distrust, and feelings of worthlessness.  When men are angry or disrespectful to the females in their families, it sets their daughters up to expect this kind of treatment from all men.  If a man does not provide and protect them, they have no expectations of this behavior from the men they enter into relationships with.  Why would a woman willingly marry a man who can’t or won’t hold a job to support his family?  Why would she intentional marry a man who abuses or abandons her?  Probably, she wouldn’t.  Perhaps that was the type of man that was modeled for her growing up and she is subconsciously attracted to that model, believing she deserves that kind of treatment and is unworthy of anything better.

Overall, children growing up without fathers are more likely to get in trouble and fail,as reported by The National Center for Fathering:

"As supported by the data below, children from fatherless homes are more likely to be poor, become involved in drug and alcohol abuse, drop out of school, and suffer from health and emotional problems. Boys are more likely to become involved in crime, and girls are more likely to become pregnant as teens."

The data is there.   Fathers matter and they matter a lot.

To be fair, all of us know someone who was raised by a single mom.   As I've said many times, single moms should get medals and special recognition for their amazing work in doing a job that was intended for two.  

Today, we remember fathers.   I have a great one.  I will tell him so again today as he recovers from health problems.   I hope that you are lucky enough to see your dad and to tell him  how much he meant in your life.

Happy Father's Day to all of the fathers out there in AT-land!

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Happy Fathers Day to my father in heaven

We say Happy Father’s Day to all of the fathers, grandfathers, uncles, etc who brought us here years ago.

Looking back, I was very lucky because my father understood the job.

He did not try to be my buddy, although he did take my brother and I to a lot of ball games when were kids.  He bought us hot dogs and ice cream.  He taught us about baseball and a few other things.

A father’s job description is simple: Tell your kids what they don’t want to hear!

I’m grateful that my dad taught me that lesson! My father certainly understood the job description!

Happy Father’s Day to my father in heaven!

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Another Father’s Day and so many kids without fathers around

As we celebrate Father’s Day, I thank God that I had a mentor in my life, the kind of man who understood what it means to be a father.  Not everyone is so lucky.  So let’s chat about the “father crisis” in many communities in the U.S.

Ten years ago, I cut out this article from the Wall Street Journal paper edition.  I saved it and look at it from time.  It was written by Juan Williams, author and Fox News contributor.  It is “The Tragedy of America’s Disappearing Fathers“:

The extent of the problem is clear.

The nation’s out-of-wedlock birth rate is 38%.

Among white children, 28% are now born to a single mother; among Hispanic children it is 50% and reaches a chilling, disorienting peak of 71% for black children.

According to the National Center for Health Statistics, nearly a quarter of America’s white children (22%) do not have any male in their homes; nearly a third (31%) of Hispanic children and over half of black children (56%) are fatherless.
This represents a dramatic shift in American life.

In the early 1960’s, only 2.3% of white children and 24% of black children were born to a single mom.

Having a dad, in short, is now a privilege, a ticket to middle-class status on par with getting into a good college.

Kids suffer without a father, no matter their color or last name.

Father’s Day is here.  Let’s remember a simple truth: we need men to be responsible fathers.

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