Monday, February 06, 2017

A few thoughts on California secession


Maybe we’re crazy in Texas, but I hear that a lot of people actually hope California secedes.  My guess is that they don’t say nice things about Texas on the West Coast, either.
All of this talk about secession reminds me of that great song, “Make it Easy on Yourself.”  Dionne Warwick’s hit version went like this:     
If you really love her
And there’s nothing I can do
Don’t try to spare my feelings
Just tell me that we’re through
And make it easy on yourself
Make it easy on yourself
Cause breaking up is so very hard to do…
Yes, sometimes the best thing to do is to go ahead and get it over with. 
Please don’t get me wrong.  I want California to stay, but it may be time to give them a view of the future, as Carl Cannon posted:
Here’s the fun part, but only if you’re a conservative with a fiendish sense of humor. 
First, huge population increases. These new pilgrims would range from native Californians (I presume we’d have dual citizenship) flocking back to their homeland to waves of anti-Trumpers desiring to live with like-minded sophisticates. Yes, California would take these ideological refugees. It’s already full of “Sanctuary Cities” and, under Calexit, would be a virtual sanctuary state, a magnet for tens of millions of immigrants from foreign countries, including, presumably all those from President Trump’s infamous seven Muslim-majority “countries of concern” who could afford the air fare.
The Golden State would soon turn Golden Brown, too, and that isn’t a reference to California President-in-waiting Jerry Brown. I’m talking water rights, specifically the Colorado River. Already, a Denver utility is planning a huge expansion of Gross Reservoir in Boulder County. Wyoming has similar plans afoot, too, in a Colorado River tributary and officials in Nevada and Arizona covet more Colorado River water, too.
Under Calexit, the interstate compact that apportions Colorado River water would be the subject of treaty negotiations between two sovereign nations, one of which has the water, and the other which wants it. Keeping the lush Imperial Valley from turning into another Death Valley could cost trillions.
All those new people – you’d be looking at a population of 100 million – would need drinking water, which would necessitate water desalination plants, fueled most likely by the nuclear power plants the state is now busily decommissioning.
So let’s call their bluff. Let’s encourage them to secede and suggest a few changes:
1) The capital of the new nation should be called Obama City rather than Sacramento.  How can any liberal state have a capital named after a Christian term?  The city should be full of Obama statues, with his speeches broadcast every night.
2) Los Angeles will no longer be occupied territory, as many actually claim, and renamed Nuevo Mexico.
3) The name Donald should be illegal on all birth certificates.
4) They could put a ban on Republicans from the other 49, now a different nation.
On second thought, we won’t be so lucky.  They won’t secede, in large part because there are enough people in the Golden State who understand that the whole Calexit thing is pure insanity.     
So let’s hope that the Golden State rejoins the other 49 so we can be a whole nation again.   
P.S. You can listen to my show (Canto Talk) and follow me on Twitter.
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